


Spark of light in the dark

by Kasidlik



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slight Season 3 spoilers, Unplanned Pregnancy, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-07-23 23:25:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7484088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasidlik/pseuds/Kasidlik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Milady and Athos found each other after the war with Spain and are trying to keep the fragile truce between them, but what will they do when the unexpected happens?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You are with child.

Milady stared at the midwife, unable to process what she heard. Child? Her, carrying a child? It couldn't be possible, other than the brief year of happiness she had with Athos she always took care to drink cup of moon tea after every night she spent in mans company. A child was a complication that she couldn't afford in her life. Nobody needed a spy big as a whale or worst, with constantly crying bundle in her arms, how was she supposed to do her work? Who would take care of it when she would go out? Milady wasn't even sure that she would know how to take care of a baby, she wasn't sure that she even wanted to try. Why had this happened now? Why not all those years ago? She remembered how silently preyed for the baby in those blissful months in Pinon, how she desperately wanted this little unique combination of Athos and herself, little boy with eyes just like her beloved husband, a miniature of Athos who would run around the house and fence with his father. But it wasn't meant to be. She and Athos wasn't meant to live happily ever after. Not even now, when they established unspoken truce between them and she spent more night in garrison than she did in her own bed, deep down she knew that it was only matter of time before they would fall apart again, before she would do something that he couldn't stomach or before he started to doubt her again. For now, everything was nice, and in some, unguarded moments she almost felt happy again but it was only because for now, Athos hadn't had any reason to doubt her. For last four months, ever since the end of war with Spain, there was peace, nobody wanted to kill anyone, she was running out of work almost. But the minute things will start to heat up (which was probably soon) she and Athos wouldn't last together for long. 

No, she couldn't allow herself to keep the child, even if by some miracle she and Athos would keep things at least civil between them, the child would only be a danger for both of them. In their world if a person had a weakness he was dead and although she didn't care that much for herself, the thought of Athos in danger still made her nauseous. No, keeping the child was out of question. So with steely resolve she turned back to the midwife and said: “Give me the herbs.”

The midwife looked at her confused, “which herbs madam?”

“The ones that cause the miscarriage.” Really, how stupid was that women?

The midwife watched her carefully, and little uneasily. As if she was afraid of something.

“What?” Asked Milady annoyed, really she wanted to get this over it as fast as possible, the longer she prolonged it, the longer she risked to get attached to this intruder occupying her womb. 

“My lady, you are too far along. I am afraid that there is anything I can do for you now.” She said solemnly.

“What?!? No, that cannot be right, give me the damn herbs!” Really, that couldn't be happening. 

“I apologize my lady but I can’t, there would be too much bleeding now, You would be risking your life.” The midwife continued, eying Milady with pity. Obviously, she wasn't the first with this sort of problem. 

How could she be so stupid? Trusting blindly to that damn moon tea, not even getting suspicious when her monthly bleeding didn't come, thinking that she was probably just eating to little. Ignoring her morning sickness attributing it to the poor excuse of food they had in garrison. Really, if there ever was an idiot on this Earth it was most certainly her. 

“I don't care, give them to me.” She spit out angrily. If she could survive the nose, she could surely survive little bleeding no? 

The midwife obviously understood that Milady wasn't going to back off, so she handed her a little sack with the needed herbs.  
“Two cups, one tonight and the other in the morning, stay whole day in bed tomorrow and if you start loosing conscience, call the doctor.” 

Milady nodded curtly and gave the woman the coins for her services. 

She was on her on her way to her lodgings when a tall, dark figure appeared next to her and a familiar hand found its way around her. Usually she welcomed it and instantly calmed herself but today she stiffened and held her posture a little straighter. Suddenly she was scared that he will discover the truth, that somehow Athos will find out the real reason why she was avoiding him the last few days. It was crazy, she knew, he had no possibility to figure it out, her stomach not betraying anything since instead of going the weight she lost a considerable amount of it in the last months. But still, she was scared, which, of course, didn't escape Athos.

“Whats wrong?” He asked concerned. She wanted to tell him that it was nothing, that she was okay, but suddenly her head started to spin and she felt herself loosing conscience. Oh shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all these amazing comments and kudos! You are great guys! There is another chapter here, hopefully you will not be to much disappointed. Also I am in the search of Beta so if you know anyone interested, please, don't hesitate to PM me :)

“Anne, Anne!”

Milady came to her senses, feeling Athos shaking her roughly. She slowly opened her eyes and met Athos concerned face. She quickly scanned her surroundings and calmed herself, they were still in the middle of the road, people passing around them, cursing that they were blocking the path. She let out out a sigh of relief. This was good, it meant no doctor, no examination, she was safe.

“I am fine.” She said, brushing off the hand that was feeling her forehead and she quickly detangled herself from Athos arms starting to smooth her skirts which gave her the additional time to school her expression. 

“You don't look FINE.” Judging by the way he said it, Athos wasn't convinced at all and was probably already getting suspicious that something was wrong. She will have to do better than that if she wants to get rid of him and not be followed. 

“Stop acting like you care dear husband, we are long past this stage, lets not embarrass ourselves by pretending something else.“ The way he flinched told her that she hit the right spot. 

“As you wish. I will leave you to your affairs than.” He said coldly a quickly turned to leave. 

Milady felt a twitch of guilt looking at his quickly disappearing back. She had been mean, she knew. Athos meant well, she knew and one part of her was actually touched by his concern, but this was the most effective way how to get rid of him. 

Once her little issue was taken care of she would have to make it up to him somehow. But she had to drink that bloody tea first. So with last glance to the crowd where Athos disappeared she turned on her heels and quickly made her way through the rushing crowd. 

Once in her lodgings she quickly closed the door behind her and sent her surprised maid away. Although Marie was in Miladys opinion quite capable and trustworthy, she really didn't need any more people involved. She will prepare that damn tea by herself. 

Soon the room was filled with delicious smell of hibiscus and other herbs and she found herself with a steamy cup in hand. It was really funny how such a deathly thing could smell so good.

Milady was just about to bring the cup to her lips when there was a firm knock on the door… Really? Couldn't she be left alone even for a while?!? At first, she wanted to ignore it but than she changed her mind. 

It could be a new assignment and with the current situation she really could use some new distraction. Hopefully it would be something different than a jealous wife wanting Milady to find dirt on her husband, because god, she was just so bored of that.   
The story was always the same and the pay was meager comparing to the pay she was used to. In the past she would have never took such assignment but the current situation left her no choice. The war took tool on everybody so instead of focusing on destroying others, people were focused on getting their life back together. And that was also the reason why she spent so many time with her husband trying to make the best of this inter - time. 

She didn't hear anything from Tréville or the Queen since the end of the war and that was four months ago. Truth to be told, Milady wasn't overly fond of any of the two but at least they always paid well and the work was never boring. 

With a sigh she placed the steamy cup on the table and went to answer the door.   
When she opened she found herself infant of a royal messenger (well this was a promising start), he handed her an envelope with Trevilles sign on it and stood impassively, obviously waiting for her answer. 

With nagging curiosity that she hadn't felt in moths she quickly extracted the letter from its envelope and started to read. 

Oh yeah, that was good, that was really good. There appeared to be a new assignment for her, and something rather important since Tréville urged her to come as soon as she got the letter. Finally, finally her skills will be put to the use they deserve. At lest one good thing in this bloody day. 

“Lead the way.” She commanded the messenger while closing the door, completely forgetting the cup that still waited for her on the table. 

As she made her way through the crowd on the main street which lead to the Palace gates, from the corner of her eyes she remarked group of children playing with a ball, throwing it at each other. Than the ball was tossed to the little girl who couldn't catch it ad the ball came rolling to Miladys feet. 

Before she could make up her mind between collecting the ball or continuing her way as if nothing happened there was suddenly the little girl in front of her eying Milady curiously.

She looked as if she didn't bathe in moths and stink horribly, wearing something that probably once used to be a dress but now looked worse than a sac for potatoes. But despite all that Milady had to admit that the little girl was actually quite cute with her chubby round face, little nose and long, tangled hair.

“Hi, will you come and play with us?” She asked with a sweet voice, positively shocking Milady. 

Play?!? Why?!? What was wrong with this girl? Standing in front of one of the most deadliest assassins in the France. People started shaking just under her gaze, knowing far too well what waited for them if they displeased her.

Still bewildered, Milady knew, that she had to say something since the situation was far to awkward already with the royal messenger witnessing the whole exchange. “No, I am sorry.” She managed to force out, handing the little girl her ball.

“Okay.” Shrugged the little one and quickly ran off with her ball. 

Milady couldn't understand how she could be so shaken by something so trivial. Why did she even stopped? 

Her thoughts were interrupted by calm cough beside her, the messenger reminding her that she was demanded elsewhere. So she took a deep breath to calm her nerves and school her features and with cold face motioned to the messenger to continue. 

__________________________________________________________

 

Upon her return to her lodgings she almost felt like her old self again. Trévilles assignment was a dangerous one, getting to the secret safe of the English emissary and extracting the supposedly existing treaty between England and Spain will by no way an easy task especially with the number of guards that guarded the mansion and for which the emissary was notoriously known for.   
It was a challenge worth her time (plus, with the reward that waited for her when she procure the Treaty she could pay the rent of her lodgings for the whole year). 

After she closed the door and secured it, her gaze fell on the still waiting cup. The tea was now already cold, but it didn't matter, the effects were still the same. 

So she went to grab the cup to finally drink it, but when her hand touched the cold porcelain, she hesitated. The memory of the little girl from the afternoon came to her mind. 

She was the first child that actually seemed not afraid of Milady and looked actually tolerably for more tie than just few minutes. And Milady couldn't help herself and thought how would look her child if she had a daughter, would she look like herself of would she be more like Athos?

Suddenly, draining the cup didn't feel that right. And Milady found herself unable to lift the cup to her lips. Which was completely irrational, why should something so ordinary and stupid be able to change her mind? No, it was crazy. 

She was probably only too tired, she thought, after all, the day was quite eventful.   
In the morning she will drink it, she decided. She should do it now, sooner the better, but what difference made one day? If she drinks the two cups in the morning than she should on her feet the next day. Yes, that was good, she just need a good night sleep, thats all. She will sort everything in the morning she decided.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys you are amazing! Thank you so much for your lovely comments and kudos you really made my day! The new chapter is here and finally there will be some action :) to those of you who are waiting for some Milathos I apologize, the TALK will have to wait for next chapter as an apology this chapter is longer (and the following will be also) than the two previous ones so hopefully you won't be much disappointed.

When the morning came, Milady didn't feel any better. She spent the whole night tossing around, sleep evading her by miles. At first, her mind kept coming back to that strange encounter with the little girl, but than the image changed, suddenly she was in a room, which looked so much like her favorite study at Pinon, but instead of the old solid desk on which she and Athos made love multiple times, there was a cradle and as if on order the sound of crying baby filled her ears. She cautiously approached to the cradle and peaked inside. At first, she only saw the mop of dark hair, but when she looked further, there was a tiny red and blotchy face framed by soft, dark hair, which was softly curled.   
The strangest thing was that the second the child met her eyes it calmed down, instantly stopping all the wailing and crying. It watched her curiously and than stretched its arms towards her as if it wanted to be picked up. And Milady suddenly felt the urge to do so. 

But the second she extended her arms to do so the whole scene disappeared and she was once again back in in Pinon. Only now it was the scene she knew all to well, it was the moment when Athos ordered her death above the corpse of that scum of brother of his. Once again she cried for Athos to help her, to trust her, declared her love all over again, everything in vain. She watched Athos turn his back, leaving her. 

When she woke up she felt dried tears on her face. Why now? She buried this memory deep, deep down in her mind, she never wanted to feel such desperation again. Never wanted to be at the mercy of anyone again. So why did her traitorous mind have to bring it up now? 

She closed her eyes against the rays of sunshine that penetrated through the curtains and harassed her tired eyes. The nausea that morning was worse that any of those she had before. Milady briefly wondered if it was the child’s punishment for deciding to get rid of him. One last blow to make her suffer for sealing its fate before it even got a chance to live. 

Better get it over with and finally drink that tea. With the new assignment from Tréville, she couldn't afford to waste any more time than she already did.

With a sigh she slowly raised herself to the sitting position but when she made a move to get up her head started to spin. Great, fucking great. She took few deep breaths to calm herself and than pushed herself up once again. 

On shaky legs she made her way to the table in the main room where the cup still patiently waited for her. As she approached the table the sweet smell once again filled her nose and her stomach wrenched violently. Instead of reaching for the cup she fell on her knees and started to vomit. 

Fortunately there wasn't much since the only meal she had yesterday was an apple with a small loaf of bread. 

With all her remaining strength she pushed herself up and sat up on one of chairs, pushing the cup as far away from her as possible. Disgusted, she looked at the mess she made on the floor. Look at her she thought, once the best assassin in France who survived even the noose was now put completely out of her game by something that probably couldn't even form a thought yet. 

Hadn't she felt so terribly, she would laugh at the situation, now however, she only experienced hate towards the little intruder. With heavy sigh she let her head fall on the table and closed her eyes, hoping that the nausea would go away soon. 

But somebody out there must really hate her, because as soon as she closed her eyes there was a firm knock on the door. Really? At this time of the day? What moron could it be? Everyone who cared for his life didn't want to risk her wrath by bothering her before noon. That idiot behind the door obviously had a death wish. 

Schooling her expression the best she could in her current state she went to open the door, one hand falling to the dagger she always kept close by. With a yank she opened the door and came face to face with Tréviles messenger from the day before. With a nod he handled her an envelope and then promptly left.   
Confused, Milady got back to the table and ripped open the expensive paper. The envelope contended an invitation to the Masquerade held tonight by English Emissary in his mansion and also a small paper written by Trévilles hand:

Thought you could use this. T.

Despite her weary mood she smiled. She certainly didn't consider the old man her friend but during the years she now knew him she came to appreciate his strange (and sometimes quite annoying) code of honor and how he always went far beyond the standard to help anyone who needed it.

Her regard fell once again on the abandoned cup. Even if the smell didn't make her nauseous. There was no way she could drink it now. She had to put on her top game tonight, she had to be in her top form. The tea would have to wait for tomorrow. 

She will probably have to stop at the midwife though, she couldn't imagine the herbs would be still any use after all the time. 

She quickly freshened up herself, knowing that Marie will come in any moment now. She had to much to do now, stop at the dressmaker to pick up an appropriate gown and also a mask. 

______________________________________________________________________________   
Milady was pleased with herself, it was only early afternoon and she had already taken care of the most important things and her nausea almost completely subsided. Just few moments ago the shopkeeper personally delivered her dress along with the mask. The gown was exquisite, deep green color, the bodice embroidered with little sapphires and the mask was in a similar way, only instead of deep green she was deep blue with little green applications. It was exactly the type of gown she needed, exquisite so that no one will doubt her status and right to be on such event and simultaneously not to luxurious so that she wouldn't draw unnecessary attention to herself. 

Now she could rest and only had to prepare herself for the evening. She descended herself in the bath that Marie drawn for her and flinched at the temperature of the water. It wasn't cold but it was by no way the hot, calming, relaxing heaven that she was used to… Something wasn't right here. 

“Marie!” She called angrily. Really, how difficult was to draw a hot bath? 

“Whats wrong my lady?“ Seriously?!? That girl had the audacity to ask whats wrong?!? Milady briefly considered firing the girl on the spot but than thought better of it, good maid was difficult to come by these days and except the current issue with the bath Marie never gave her a reason to doubt her. 

“Have you checked the temperature of the water” She asked, trying to rein her anger.

“Of course my lady.” Nodded Marie.

“Did you now? Than please explain me, in which universe is the the hot water I asked for and that you normally get me?” Milady asked icily. Seriously? Did the girl hit her head somewhere? 

“But the hot water can be dangerous in you condition.” The girl countered, avoiding Miladys eyes. 

Milady eyed the girl puzzled. “And exactly about what condition are you talking about?” She asked, not understanding anything.

“Well…” trailed of Marie and Milady wanted snap at her, to god damn finish the sentence, but when she saw Maries eyes descend to her bare stomach it dawned on her… She knew, Marie knew that she was with child. 

But how was it possible when Milady herself only learned it yesterday? Did everyone noticed except her? Did Athos knew too? No, she quickly dispensed that thought. Had Athos knew he wouldn't keep it to himself. Although he wasn't by any means a talker, this was not something he would not talk about. 

Unconsciously, her right hand descended to her stomach feeling the skin there. She couldn't feel anything, it was too early of course but just the knowledge that somewhere under her hand was the spark of life that she and Athos created, the miracle that she was about to destroy the moment she finished tonights mission… it suddenly made her sick. 

But there was no other way she reasoned, there was no place for a child in her life, she remained herself. She did far worse things in years following her supposed death, what was one more death on her account?

“My lady, are you all right?” Marie tentative voice brought her back to the the reality and Milady realized that she was still standing in the water, completely naked. 

“Leave me!” She barked and sunk back to her bath suddenly feeling tired.

She efficiently scrapped every inch of her body talking her time to calm herself and compose her features. She couldn't afford any weakness tonight. If she doesn't succeed, god know when she will have another chance to get in the study of the Emissary so easily. 

At the end of her bath the water was long cold but she didn't care anymore. After tonight she will drink the tea and everything will be as it was before. After earlier scene she didn't want to call Marie again so she decided to dry herself and started to prepare for the evening. The art of makeup and hair couldn't be rushed. She only called for Marie to lace her corset and the bodice. 

Taking one glance at the mirror Milady smiled despite herself. She looked radiant, what a waste that she had to wear a mask. 

The ride to the Emisarys mansion was a long one, so when her carriage finally stopped in front of the house the party was already in full swing. She waited for the footman to help her from the carriage, her mask firmly secured on her head. When she was securely on the ground she made a move to get of the footman but his hand wouldn't release her. Confused, she looked up to his face and almost gasped in shock when she saw that the footman was actually Porthos grinning at her shocked expression. 

“What the hell, are you doing here?” She hissed, trying no to raise any more suspicion, if anyone was watching them. It was already weird enough that wealthy lady was talking to a footman that long.

“Trévilles orders. He thought, that you could use some backup.” He smiled devilishly, finally letting go of her hand. 

Okay, now Milady felt insulted. What was that old man thinking?!? She didn't need anyone to chaperone her, she wasn't D Artagnans little wife. She was Milady de Winter for God sake! Cardinals Richelieus spy and protégé. She briefly considered to abandon the mission and instead going to Palace and get Tréville acquitted with her favorite dagger but in the end thought better of it. After all, she really needed the money. 

“Fine, don't get in my way.” She barked and turned to finally enter the mansion when another arm hooked around her waist. 

“Darling, there you are. I was becoming afraid that you got lost in those awful streets.” She wanted to tell the man that he was mistaken, that she wasn't his wife or whoever he was looking for but than she realized that the voice sounded familiar. But before she could search the face hidden under the rich, gold mask the man whispered in her ear.

“Don’t be stupid and play along. I am you husband, Lord de Winter. I was supposed to return tomorrow but came sooner and decided to accompany you on last minute.” It was Aramis, she realized. Well, at least with him she knew that he could pull of the Lord convincingly. Unlike other members of his merry band of idiots. 

Wait! If Aramis was there and Porthos was there, it meant that D Artagnan and Athos certainly weren't far away…. Milady could feel her hands starting to sweat, she couldn't see him, not tonight.

As if reading her thoughts, Aramis once again whispered in her ear: “Don't worry, he is not here. Decided to drink himself to unconsciousness instead.”

“Why should I care?” She asked stubbornly, hoping that the ice in her voice will do the trick. Judging by the amused expression his lips were sporting, no such luck. She huffed, frustrated and let him lead her in the mansion. 

The ballroom was crowded, all important figures were there and from the corner of her eyes Milady could see the Emissary in deep discussion with the Spanish Minister. Looks like the informations of the Treaty were right. Now she had to only penetrate to Emissarys office, hopefully he had it hidden somewhere in there. 

“Would you like to dance my dear?” Asked her escort and she almost felt inclined to accept. Just for a moment pretend that she really belonged among those people. Remind herself of those good times when she believed that the world could be a good place. Which was silly, she knew, since even if the things didn't work out the way they did she would have never attended such and event since her husband despised any kind of public events.   
Although he was actually skilled dancer she always had to beg him before he agreed to engage in it. 

“Milady, are you alright?” The concerned whisper in her ear brought her back to current situation. Really, what was wrong with her lately? She was never contemplative person, for the simple reason that in her world one couldn't afford it if he wanted to survive another day, and yet, ever since the news of the child it seemed that all she did was contemplate. She had to get herself together, there was a mission to be done for god sake!

“Yeah, I am alright. Lets play it like this : You will go and introduce yourself to the Emissary and will keep him occupied until my return. In the meantime I will get in his office, find the Treaty and than we all disappear.” She said in commanding voice, hoping that the musketeer will understand that there was no place for objections. As usually, when his kind was concerned, she was mistaken. 

“I don't think its wise for you to go alone. What if one of his guards shows up?” 

“Than I will take care of him.” Milady replied easily and felt once again insulted. Really, he acted as if this was her first mission. 

“I am coming with you. I have no wish to suffer his wrath should something happen to you.” Aramis said in resolute tone. She didn't need to ask who “HE” was, she knew too well and sincerely doubted that after this morning he would care. 

“I don't care about the issues between you two idiots. I am going alone, two would rase suspicions. Besides who would make sure that the Emissary stays here?” 

“Well, D Artagnan is more than apt for it I believe.” Answered Aramis and as he finished a figure in red doublet with black mask appeared in front them.   
Well, well, Milady had to admit that the young brute looked rather charming and surprisingly at ease between the high nobility.   
“No, I am going alone.” She said firmly, bowed to her supposed husband and quickly left both men so that they couldn't follow her without raising any suspicion. 

She excited the ballroom and took the adjacent stairs which she hoped led to private quarters. Fortunately the few people that were in the hall were either already drunk or otherwise engaged. 

She quickly made her way upstairs and found herself in dark, long hallway with doors on both sides. Great, there were at least twenty rooms and she had no idea which led to that damn study. She would have to peek behind every last of them. She sighed and went for the first door. 

Milady slowly opened it and found obviously unoccupied guest room. She quickly closed it and went for the one on the opposite wall… guest room once again, this time obviously occupied though, judging by the state of the room. She quickly closed it and continued. After another ten rooms she was becoming slightly desperate. She wasted already too much time and didn't even reach the right room yet. The more time she spent there, the bigger was the chance that she will encounter some of the ever present guards. 

With a little more force than necessary she opened yet another door and was finally met by room that certainly was somebody’s study. She sighed in relief and went to search the room. The desk was a mess, obviously the Emissary wasn't very neat man. There was number of parchments laying on the desk and around on the floor. It would take her hours to go through every one of them and she didn't have the time to do that. 

She had to hope that the Emissary wasn't that careless and kept the Treaty in a safer place than on his desk. But where? Hidden vaults behind paintings were becoming a trend now. Surely such important man as English Emissary had one. Fortunately, there were only two paintings in the room so that should be quick. She started to check the frame of the closest of them and after some time she could feel something like a little button on the other side of the frame. She pressed it lightly and the painting begin to move away, revealing a hole in the wall which contained a small wooden vault, that had to be what she was looking for. She made a quick work on the lock and with a squeak opened the cover. 

When Milady saw what it contained she sighed in relief. So the Treaty really did exist and it was right there, in front of her. She quickly checked the signatures and when she she saw both english and spanish symbols she quickly folded the parchment and hid it in her bodice. 

Just as she returned the vault to its hiding place and was about to close the painting a large man in a uniform which she supposed was a member of that famous guard. Fabulous, as if today couldn't get any worse. He was alone, she could deal with one guy, she did it before, many times. The fact that you were smaller and weaker than your opponent didn't necessary mean that you would be on the loosing side. In fact, since the big giants always underestimated you, you could be at advantage. 

She briefly considered to try to woo the man with her charms, playing the drunk madame who lost her way and by chance stumbled in that room but than abandoned the idea. The open painting with her hand still on the frame was answer enough as to what she was doing in the office of their master. 

Miladys hand fell on the dagger hidden in her skirts preparing for the inevitable fight when another member of the guard burst in the door. He was much smaller and therefore less treating than the first one but still, Milady hesitated. She wasn't so confident anymore. She sent a quick prayer to the God she long before lost fait in and prepared herself to strike. But than two things happened: the moment the first guy went to attack her, D Artagnan burst through the door and from the side she could hear the sounds of clashing steel as they started to fight. Milady sincerely hoped that the musicians downstairs were playing something loud, otherwise there was no way that the other didn't hear them.

Her thoughts were interrupted by sharp pain piercing the flesh just above her right breast. She was becoming too careless she thought, hissing in pain. She efficiently dodged the next blow and those few following but she could feel her herself loosing strength quickly. The wound bleed too much and her muscles stopped to obey her commands. One of the blows sent her flying and she hit her head loosing consciousness. 

What a terrible way to die. She thought before it all went black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I am terribly sorry that it took me so long, but work got in my way and than school etc. I was just crazy :/ if there is still someone interested in this story I have good news for you. From now on I should update regularly :o)

There were too many voices in her head. Muffled, at first but they were becoming increasingly louder up to the barely bearable level. And the pain, her head felt as if it was about to explode at any moment. What happened? Was this hell? Because it sure felt like one. She tried to recall what happened… the mission, the musketeers, she got the Treaty and there were the guards… Shit, for all she knew she was now a captive in Emissarys mansion. 

But it was too bright her mind countered, there was to much light for the dungeon and also from what she could tell she wasn't laying on the cold floor. Where was she? What were the voices saying? They sounded somehow familiar, as if she had met the people before, but that wasn't much of a help considering the number of people she met in her life. She had to focus on the sounds, trying to ignore the pounding in her head. They were speaking french, so that was a promising start, she doubted that the guards in the mansion knew more than the basic french phrases. 

So where the was she? Just when she was debating if it was worth to open her eyes, once of the voices announced : “We know you are awake” That sounded familiar, she knew that voice, it was Athos, she was sure. But how was it possible? 

Her eyes flew open and she groaned at the offensive brightness. By the look of it it was probably around noon, Milady slowly turned her head to other side, normally a simple movement suddenly being a hard work. And here he was in all his glory, her constant tormentor. Although when her allowed her to focus on his face properly, Athos looked tired as if he wasn't sleeping the last few days at all. Milady childishly hoped that she was the cause for his ragged appearance. It would be only fair considering that the sickness and everything was his fault. 

Wait….was she..still..? Did they know? No, surely… she couldn't be…the fight… There was no way that the child could survive the blow and the following impact which filled Milady with sudden sadness that she didn't understand. 

Her problem was solved so why she suddenly felt like crying? 

She took a deep breath and turned her attention back to the communion in the room. Behind Athos was the rest of infamous four and D’Artagnans little wife and than some other girl Milady didn't know. For gods sake, was this some kind of party that nobody told her about? 

She sighed, willing the tears that has starting to form in her eyes to go away. There was no point being emotional especially not in front of her dear husband. She tried to sit but the moment she started to move she was pressed back into mattress with surprising firmness. 

“You need to rest.” Athos whispered gently before retracting back where he was standing and Milady suddenly found herself missing the closeness. 

“So, what happened?” She asked focusing on the others instead, pretending that Athos wasn't in the room. 

 

Everyone suddenly looked uncomfortably at each other, silence stretching in the room. At least Aramis finally answered her: “You got hit pretty badly during the fight and lost consciousness, you got two broken ribs and a concussion which is quite dangerous considering your condition.” 

What the hell?!? Surely she didn't hear right. But before she could ask Aramis continued. 

“I recommend a month of bedrest at least and you should be checked by a midwife to confirm that the child hadn't been harmed.”

No, this couldn't be right, how could it survived? Milady felt like fainting, her head spinning, she really really was glad that she was already lying in the bed. But she could stay here, she had to head home, to get away. 

“Thank you for your help, I will make sure to stop by one. If you could just give me a minute and I shall be on my way.” She said, proud that her voice didn't waver and started to get up only to be forced down once again by her dear husband who appeared at her side in a flash. 

“You will do no such thing.” He growled in her ear, his arms tightening where they were put on her shoulders. 

She wanted to fight him but the pain in her left side made her reconsider and with resigned sighed stayed still watching him with as much hate as she could muster, which considering how weary she was wasn't much really. 

There was a staring match between them which seemed to be going forever until it was finally interrupted by Aramis once again.

“We will leave you rest.” He said and with rest started to retreat from the crowded room and just before disappearing he added looking more at Athos than her: “You have to avoid any stressful activity now, its crucial in your condition and for your recovery.” he said, looking at Athos pointedly before leaving her completely alone with him. Great, just … great. 

One, two, three…… hundred seventy five, the silence was starting to get a little annoying. Milady briefly considered to just close her eyes and sleep but the second she was about to her dear husband decided to speak up. 

“Is it mine?” He asked so softly that she wasn't sure if she didn't imagine it. 

What kind of question was that anyway? But considering her reputation she guessed that she couldn't really be that supposed or offended even though it hurt to know that this was the first thing that came to his mind. 

“Who else’s would it be?” She sighed avoiding his gaze and instead looking towards the window. She really wasn't in shape to fight right now and desperately hoped that for once Athos would get the hint and leave the conversation for the next time. 

“We have to deal with this situation.” He said, combing his fingers softly through her hair. 

“I know.” 

“I guess it can wait for later, I will let you sleep now.”

“Okay.” Was all she managed to say before he left and she could finally let the sleep take over her. With a little luck she will wake up and discover that the last few days were just a bad dream.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your amazing comments and all the kudos! You have no idea how happy you made me that you are are still interested in the story! <3 
> 
> I would like to dedicate the chapter to automaticdreamlandkid since I never got lovelier comment than from yo,u so thank you very much! <3 :o) Hopefully you will all like the chapter. The next will be from Athos point of view so You will get to see his thoughts about the situation.

She actually woke up feeling rested like she hadn’t for a long time now. 

She wasn't even nauseous, well this day already started to be very promising. Forgetting for a moment where she was she stretched her arms, reveling in the feeling…yes, that is.. just a little bit…suddenly, hot white pain pierced her body …. ouch, crap, the ribs. Events of the last few days came back in a flash and Milady sighed, suddenly the day didn't seem so promising anymore. 

There was no chance that Athos would let her get off easy. If anything his sense of duty would not permit him to let this go. 

God, what was she supposed to do? How did she even end up here? She was the perfect spy who never made mistakes. So how did she managed to do so many in the last few days? Milady felt like everything was falling apart and she had no clue how to stop it. Hell, laying here, in the small room on a crapy bed which she supposed was an infirmary, she was starting to ponder on a thought of how nice family they could form…she, Athos and…. the baby. 

The baby, it still felt so surreal to her, if Aramis really was right and it did survive, shouldn't she give it a chance to live? Long time ago stopping to be a religious person, this felt her like a sign from a God. 

So what that the caring long ago left her nature, maybe she could learn it again. It could be nice to have someone to love you unconditionally no? Milady thought of all those happy families that she sometimes saw during her life. 

She used to mock them, saying to herself that their boring, monotone lives weren't anything for her, that she pitied these women, who were reduced to being a broodmare and a provider of food. But deep down, she had to admit that she always felt a tiny pang of jealousy of how happy they seemed, although generally looking terribly tired, with their hair unkept, there was this strange aura of happiness about them when they watched their offsprings play. Maybe she could have it to? 

No! What was wrong with her? She already established that there was no place for a child in her life, she already weighted all pros and cons, the list of cons by far surpassing the potential benefits. So why was she pondering the idea again? It was probably because of Athos, every time she was anywhere in his proximity she had the tendency to act as a love stick fool. Yes that had to be it. 

But it was only Athos who was making her to act like an idiot and hope for things that couldn't happen in the world she lived in, why there was a dull pain in her chest at the thought that the child should not survive the impact? 

She felt so conflicted, for the first time in a very long time, she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore. 

Of course, her dear husband had to chose the moment when she was at her lowest to enter the room. She wanted to yell at him to go away but since he was carrying a tray with food, she guessed that he redeemed himself, for now. She didn't even realize how hungry actually was until he saw the food. 

“Good morning”. He greeted uncertainly, as if expecting her to bark at him too. Well, he really did know her well, her dear husband. 

“I brought you a breakfast.” He said as he gently helped her into sitting position before sitting on bed next to her and gently setting the tray in her lap. 

The breakfast really looked delicious. There were scrambled eggs, some bread, little bit of meat and some apple slices. The breakfast by Athos represented the amount of food that Milady actually ate in one or two days. 

She picked up the fork and took a mouthful of the eggs and sighed at the taste. 

“Good?” Athos asked smiling and she remarked that he actually looked much better than he did yesterday. 

“Oh yes.” She sighed, taking another bite. It was so wonderful to be able to enjoy the meal without it leaving your stomach just seconds later. 

And of course, right at this moment her stomach turned violently and she felt the eggs to come back. Milady tried to keep the food down, really ,not wanting to vomit in front of Athos of all people. 

“Whats wrong?” Athos asked concerned. 

Milady wanted to assure him, that everything was alright, that there was nothing to be concerned about, but the moment she tried open her mouth, she just couldn't hold it anymore and she promptly started to vomit all over Athos shoes. 

While vomiting she was faintly aware of Athos holding her hair out of her face. 

Great, just… great. Could this day continue any worse?

What interesting picture this must be, she thought. Cardinals former assassin hunched over the bed vomiting all over her husbands shoes. God, she really was pathetic. 

“All done?” asked her dear husband and she nodded, he helped her to lie back in the bed. 

Milady knew that she should probably say something, thank him, or at least apologize, but she was just too embarrassed about the whole situation. So she decided to pretend that Athos wasn't even here and turned her head in other direction. 

Athos, the idiot he was, of course wouldn't have none of it and soon enough, she felt his fingers gently turning her head back to him. 

“Are you sure you are alright? Shouldn’t I get Aramis?” He asked concerned, smoothing the hair out of her face. 

“Yeah, no, I mean.. I am alright. Its normal.. in my .. situation, ehm, condition, you know?” Great, so she apparently wasn't even able to talk like a decent person anymore.

Athos furrowed his eyebrows. “You mean the concussion, or the ribs?” Amazing, so she wasn't the biggest idiot in the room right now, how comforting.

“No, I mean…You know, the CONDITION” she stressed out and gestured vaguely to her stomach. 

The look on his face, when it finally downed on him was really priceless. 

“Oh this…right.. ehm, we have to talk. If you are up to it of course.” He added hastily, obviously not ready for that conversation anymore than she was. Still, she guessed that he should get bonus points for being the one who actually had the courage to bring it up. 

Well, here it is. How she should play this? Think, think!

As the silence stretched, Athos obviously understood her silence that she doesn't want to be cooperative. 

“Cmon Anne, You know we have to deal with this.” He said gently, obviously trying his best to be patient and keep himself at check since she was sure that deep down he wanted to do was to yell at her for her irresponsibility and stupidity. 

“Anne” He urged when she still didn't say anything. 

Really, she never had thought that it would be Athos, her always reticent husband, who would be forcing her to discuss anything. Even during this short happy time of their lives at Pinon it was always her who led their discussions, forcing him to answer in more than just one word.   
Funny, how the tables turned, she supposed.

“I… “ she tried, but her voice failed her. She cleared her throat and tried again: “I am sorry for your shoes.” She rasped, trying to smile but from the look on Athos face she failed spectacularly.

What was she supposed to say anyway? That she was sorry for wanting to get rid of the child without even telling him? But she wasn’t. She did what she thought best. 

“What? Anne, I don't care about that. I have been through worse, trust me.” He grimaced slightly, probably reviving said “worse”. 

The mood lightened slightly, only to fall back in the uncomfortable silence, which was starting to get on Milady’s nerves. 

Well lets get this over with, she thought. 

“If you could get me a midwife I can take care of the situation immediately.” She said, trying to sound detached. 

“What? What do you mean “take care of the situation””? Athos asked, dumbfounded. But than again, she shouldn't be so surprised, he didn't grew up in the same world she did.

“Well, she will give me herbs and there will be nothing for you to worry about.” She said slowly.

“What?!?” Athos exclaimed incredulously. It was probably for the first time in their acquittance that she actually heard him to raise his voice and losing his composure. Gone was the calm, melancholic man the world knew so well. 

“Why would you do that? It hadn't done anything to you! Why?… Forget it, I don't know why I am even surprised, You have no remorse and You probably killed all those innocent people. But killing your own innocent child is a new low even for you.” He spited out, fuming. 

Well, that hurt A lot actually. And Milady felt her anger rising up. Who the hell he thinks he is to judge her and her decisions? It is her body for gods sake!

“How easy to judge someone when you have no idea in what situation they are.” She drawled, gazing daggers at him. 

“Than en light me please.” He drawled sarcastically. That idiot really had some nerve!

Ignoring the sharp pain in her side she pushed herself to sit more straighter, if they should fight she wouldn't give him the satisfaction to look weaker than she already did. 

“Do you what this would mean for me? Who would hire a spy who is with child? Yeah, really, imagine how easily one can blend in when being the size of a whale!” She let out a sarcastic laugh before continuing.“ And than, when its born, what am I supposed to than Athos? Do please tell me, how am I supposed to take care of a child all alone?” Those last words she gritted out, the pain in her side now almost unbearable. 

Damn ribs, damn guards, damn Athos! At least he actually had a sense to look at least a little bit abashed.

“What about me?” He asked so quietly that she almost didn't hear him

“What about you? What do you mean?” She asked, having no idea where he was going. Damn, the pain really was starting to unbearable. 

“You wouldn't be alone. I would be there.” He said gently, as if not sure about it himself.

“Really, would you know? And what about when you will go to another mission, or better what if there will be another war? Will you still be there of the child, you do realize that it would be here all the time do you? That it would demand your attention? So tell me, husband, what will you chose, the child, YOUR child or the duty?” Her breathing was now labored, keeping herself upright becoming more and more difficult. But still, she did enjoy her little triumph at seeing Athos speechless. 

“Some time ago you told me how you were sick of your life and how you wanted to change…” Really, he had the nerve to bring this up now?!?

“And you bailed on me! Once again choosing duty over me, leaving me waiting at the crossroads like an idiot I was.” Milady yelled, feeling as if she will pass out from the pain at any moment, but she didn't care, she will not let him to gain the upper hand in this!

“I didn’t bail on you! You left early, not giving me a chance!” Athos yelled back with equal fervor, fumbling in his doublet before throwing something in her lap. 

To shocked, she picked the item up watching it closely before realizing that it was the glove she discarded at the crossroads. The breath caught in her throat. So he really went there…

But before she could say anything Aramis bursted through the door looking furious. 

“What part about her having to avoid any stressful activity did you not understand?” He asked Athos crossly.

“I…” Athos started to say something, probably wanting to defend himself but was interrupted by Aramis.

“Out.” He said strictly. 

“But, I..” 

“I sad, OUT.” Aramis repeated in a tone that didn't leave any room for Athos to argue.

“This isn't over.” He said seriously before exiting the room.

“Whatever” Milady murmured, trying not to wail at how Aramis was probing her ribs.


End file.
